


Cry For Me

by Markipoo



Category: GOT7, JJ Project
Genre: Bottom Im Jaebum | JB, Dubious Consent, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Im Jaebum | JB, M/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Smut, Top Park Jinyoung | Jr.
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-10-15
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2018-12-31 11:40:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12131682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Markipoo/pseuds/Markipoo
Summary: "You should be happy." Jaebum spat, pacing the small room like a tiger pumped full of amphetamines.Jinyoung looked at him from where he sat on the mattress, rubbing his sore shoulder and trying to figure a way out of this, knowing full well there wasn’t one. "What's that supposed to mean?" he asked.Jaebum stopped walking, keeping as much space as possible between them. "This is what you’ve been wanting, right? To fuck me? Here’s your chance." His voice was steady but his hands shook.Fucking Christ. How was he supposed to respond to that? Of course he wanted to fuck him, he had for years. But not like this. Never like this. Whatever the fucking polar opposite of this is, that’s how he wanted to fuck him. That didn’t seem like the right thing to say, somehow. Jinyoung didn’t have to see Jaebum in that moment. He could feel his nervous energy from where he stood."No." Jinyoung snapped, standing up.Fuck.FUCK.How the fuck did he end up in this situation to begin with?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry, I'm really lazy and I don't feel like writing a backstory on how they got into this situation. If possible, please use your imagination and create your own backstory.

The man raised his gun slowly, leveling it at Jinyoung's chest. His finger on the trigger and the tremors in his hands were a little nerve wracking and a lot fucking infuriating. He wanted to tell him to fucking do it, but he wasn’t going to be able to protect Jaebum while bleeding on the ground, so he fought the urge to open his big fucking mouth. Jinyoung sighed heavily, turning his back on the gun.

Never call a junkie’s bluff, especially when he’s holding a handgun he doesn’t know how to use.

"Jaebum-" he started.

"No." Jaebum interrupted, shaking his head like he could dislodge the moment like a bug in his ear.

"You need to listen to-"

"No!"

Holding his hands up in front of him, he took a step forward. Jaebum backed up. It wasn’t a large room so he hit the wall after a few steps.

"You need to calm down." Jinyoung tried to keep his voice quiet and even as he took another step towards Jaebum. "I know this is a horrible situation, and I am so fucking sorry, but it’s going to come down to me…" he gestured vaguely behind him "…Or them. It’s your choice."

Jaebum’s gaze flicked over his shoulder and looked like he might vomit. There was a long, agonizing, moment of silence.

"Y-you."

Oh, thank God. He hadn’t been looking forward to making that choice for him."It’ll be over quick and you can fuck me if you want."

Before Jaebum could even reply, the man in the corner interrupted with a simple "Nope."

Trying not to argue, Jinyoung turned away, making his way back to the mattress and lowering himself down again. Resigned, Jaebum approached and joined him.

‘This isn’t a date, kids.’ Came the man’s voice. ‘I want the brunette over the side of the mattress. Now!’

Jaebum adjusted accordingly, propping himself up on his elbows and staring down at his hands.

‘Stand up. Get behind him.’

Jinyoung obliged, placing his hand on Jaebum’s hip as he bent down and whispered in his ear."I promise, everything's going to be alright. Please trust me."

Jaebum nodded, almost imperceptibly. Jinyoung reached between him, trying to adjusting himself. From the corner of the room came the distinct sound of a zipper.

‘Touch him.’ The man instructed, a smirk on his lips.

Gritting his teeth, Jinyoung pushed his hand under Jaebum’s shirt, rubbing little circles into his skin, hoping he could sooth him. Would it be better to drag this out? Wait for him to relax, or just get it over with? Which one of those would make Jaebum hate him less when this was over? Probably neither. It’s way too fucking late for that.

Their captor seemed to be enjoying this, so he opted to go slowly. After several long minutes of trying to rub some of the tension from his muscles, hoping it looked like he was taking his time for his own benefit, the man spoke up.

‘Move your hips, show him how hard you are.’

Jinyoung rolled his hips slowly, putting as little pressure as possible into the move. Jaebum shivered below him when he realized the man had been right, Jinyoung was hard.

‘Let’s see some skin, pull his pants down.’

Hating himself more than Jaebum ever could, he reached underneath him, prompting him to lift his hips and suppressing a shudder when he did. Unbuttoning his jeans, Jinyoung hooked his thumbs in the the waistbands of his pants and boxers and worked them slowly down his hips and over his ass.

‘Touch him.’

Jinyoung did. He ran his hand over the soft skin and gave his hip a small squeeze. Jaebum was beginning to relax.

‘Great,’ the man told them, ‘Now put a finger in him.’

Just like that, the tension was back.

"I don’t have any lube." Jinyoung told the man through gritted teeth. Digging around in a bag next to where he sat, a bag Jinyoung did NOT want to know the contents of, the man fished out a small bottle and tossed it to him with a smirk.

Jinyoung popped the cap on the bottle of lube and used a generous amount to coat his fingers. Jaebum tried to push himself up but Jinyoung held him down with a hand between his shoulderblades. He wanted him to fight, but not now. It wouldn’t help either of them.

"I’m so sorry." Jinyoung whispered, leaning over him again and pressing a slick finger to his entrance. He began to struggle in earnest, but Jinyoung managed to overpower him and kept him still as he slid his finger in. Jaebum went rigid, every muscle in his body tensing, rebelling against the feeling, the intrusion.

"Jaebum, I promise I’m not going to hurt you."

He shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut fighting the frustration."I can’t…I-I don’t…I haven’t…"

Jinyoung felt like someone had dumped a bucket of ice water over his head before punching him in the gut.

"Please, please tell me you’re not a virgin." Jinyoung begged.

"None of your fucking business."Jaebum mumbled, sounding more frightened than angry.

Jinyoung closed his eyes, seeing red and willing himself to calm down. Moving his finger slowly in and out, waiting for him to adjust. He didn’t want Jaebum to hear each step from the disgusting man watching them, so he whispered, "I’m adding another finger now." Jaebum winced as he did, tightening up again.

"I know it’s uncomfortable, please try to relax." To his surprise, Jaebum’s muscles softened around his fingers, just the tiniest amount. He could see how much Jaebum trusted him and it made him feel a little homicidal.

‘How about you make him feel good, sweetheart, I bet you know how to do that, right? A faggot like you?’

Jinyoung turned to him, looking at his hand on his cock and up to his face, eyebrows raised. That was a pretty strong word coming from someone enjoying this so much. He let that go unspoken, but it was clear the man had understood and pointed the pistol at Jaebum this time.

Moving his fingers slowly, he carefully searched, crooking his fingers and brushing Jaebum’s prostate. Jaebum either hadn’t been paying attention or hadn’t known what to expect because his body jerked and he let out a surprised yelp. Any other time, any other place, he’d have relished in the fact that he was the first one to touch him like this, not now. It hit him that Jaebum was losing his virginity to someone he didn’t like, on a filthy mattress, at gunpoint. If the man in the chair wasn’t going to die before, he sure as fuck was now and that’s going to be the only satisfaction he’d get out of this.

He eased off, but the tsk-tsk sound from the man told him that was the wrong move, so he continued, stimulating the previously untouched bundle of nerves. Jaebum trembled beneath him, and this is the worse thing Jinyoung ever done.

"Jinyoung, s-stop, I’m going to…"

Shit.

Would that make it better or worse?

‘Finish him off.’ The man instructed.

"I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so, sorry." had become Jinyoung’s mantra as he slid another finger in and increased the pressure. Jaebum came with a heart wrenching sob, and his body went slack.

The man groaned softly. Had Jinyoung mentioned that he was going to kill that man?

Knowing it was cruel, but seizing the opportunity while he was relaxed, Jinyoung eased his fingers out, unzipped his jeans and pulled his aching cock free. Pouring lubricant into his hand, he slicked himself thoroughly. He lined himself up with Jaebum’s twitching entrance and pushed in in one fluid movement. Jaebum's eyes widened and tears pricked his eyes.

"Stop! It hurts. It hurts, Jinyoung!" Jaebum yelled desperately trying to escape his grasp. 

Tightly holding onto him, Jinyoung shushed him, rubbing circles on his back. He didn’t want to hurt him, he just wanted this to be over."You just have to endure this and then it'll be over, I promise."

“I-I can’t! I’m sorry! I just…please stop!” His tears started to overflow and Jaebum quickly turned into a sobbing mess.

‘Start pounding into him.’ the man commanded.

Jinyoung moved slowly, wanting to let him adjust to the entirely unfamiliar sensation.

‘I told you to fuck him, not make love to him like it’s fucking prom night, so fucking do it or I will come over there and show you how.’

Moving faster, he dropped his head on to Jaebum’s shoulder. 

‘Harder.’

‘Faster.’

‘Pull his hair.’

With each order, Jinyoung imagined cutting off one of his fingers. Jaebum was shaking violently, his eyes shut tight, Jinyoung could feel his jaw clenching under his fingers. He groped for Jinyoung’s hand, an anchor. Jinyoung dropped down onto his elbows, pressing them together tightly, and entwined their fingers as Jaebum let his head fall forward, panting against Jinyoung’s palm.

For a moment, he could pretend this was real. Pretend that Jaebum had wanted this and they were at his apartment, in his bed, doing this right.

But it wasn’t.

And he didn’t.

And they weren’t.

A minute or so later, he pulled out, finishing on Jaebum’s back and releasing him. He wiped him off with his hand and wiped that on the blanket. He tucked himself back into his jeans and pulled Jaebum’s back up, helping him stand up.

"Alright, we did it, can we go now?" Jinyoung asked, too tired to do much else. The man escorted them through the dank warehouse, not bothering with blindfolds or zip ties this time. He opened the padlock with a key around his neck and pushed them both out into the cold, quiet, night.

Jinyoung called a taxi and they rode in silence. For very different reasons, neither one of them thought to call the police. Jaebum, a little unsteady on his feet, let Jinyoung help him into the dorm. He started a shower for Jaebum and waited for him to finish in the sparsely furnished living room.

It was half past 2 in the morning and he wanted nothing more than to curl up and sleep for seven or eight months."Do you want me to go?"

Jaebum shook his head, avoiding eye contact. "I don’t... Please stay."

Bile rose in Jinyoung’s throat at the sound of Jaebum's voice breaking. He could see tears rolling down his cheek. 

"Jaebum, I am so-’

"Jinyoung, I never want to hear you say _I'm sorry_ ever again."


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jinyoung's chest tightened at the soft, unmistakable, sound of someone trying to control their breathing.
> 
> Trying not to cry.  
> "‘I really want to ask you if you’re alright."
> 
> The response was a barely audible, broken, whisper.
> 
> "Please don’t."

Jinyoung woke up sore, wondering why he felt so latently homicidal.

It came back to him slowly as he pushed himself into a sitting position on the world’s most uncomfortable couch. He closed his eyes at the memory of Jaebum’s skin and suddenly had the intense urge to shower in boiling water and douse his brain in bleach.

He’d dreamed he was a wolf in a field of sheep, all of which held shiny Colt autos between their teeth and all he had were a pair of knuckledusters. Even prey has the upper hand when you’re armed with a close quarters weapon and no fingers.

He debated asking Jaebum if he could shower here or if he should wait until he got home. Home. Home is where those sick fucks had found them in the first place. Maybe Mark and Jackson would let him crash with them for a few days. He was too tired to think about this.

He needed a shower and possible some alcohol to drown his thoughts. He knocked lightly on Jaebum’s bedroom door and a muffled voice told him to come in.

Jaebum looked as awful as Jinyoung felt. His eye looked much worse than it had yesterday, his paperwhite skin stained with blossoming bruises. Very undead chic. He took a deep breath. Shower now, plan massacre later.

“Do you mind if I take a shower?”

“Go for it.”

The only thing more frustrating than trying to figure out someone else’s shower for the first time is trying to make coffee in their kitchen.

After several minutes of regretting his own conception, he managed to get the water to a decent, if slightly too hot, temperature. He longed for his toothbrush and a change of clothes, accepting the fact that he was going to have to make a stop at home sooner rather than later.

Before stepping under the water, he searched the drawers as quietly as he could, coming back with one of those plastic dental floss toothpick things. Examining his fingernails closely, he carefully used the toothpick part to scrape the filth out from under his fingernails and placed it carefully in the plastic bag before tucking it back into the pocket of his jeans. He wished he could have done the same to Jaebum, he distinctly remembered him leaving quite the scratch.

Stepping into the shower, Jinyoung spent a few minutes leaning against the cool wall with his eyes closed. All he could see was the image of Jaebum crying underneath him and he wanted nothing more than to drown in a pool of agony.

He let the heat seep some of the soreness from his muscles before washing himself as thoroughly as possible, hating the feeling of the dried lube briefly return to it’s slippery state before washing away. Ten minutes later, feeling only marginally less disgusting, he dried himself off and got dressed. The stain on his boxers made him want to vomit so he shoved them in the trash can and resigned himself to discomfort.

Taking a moment, he stood studying himself in the mirror. He didn't look as bad as Jaebum, but there he certainly didn't look good. The bruise on his cheek was darker than it bad been, his lower lip was swollen, almost like he’d been punched in the face.

...

“I’m going to run home.” Jinyoung said when he was back in the room. Jaebum nodded, whether in understanding or agreement, Jinyoung didn't know. “I was thinking about going to Mark and Jackson’s place, I thought, maybe…” Jaebum looked away and Jinyoung realized he probably wanted some space, maybe not see him for awhile. Rape was rarely good for a friendship, who knew?

After some deliberation, Jaebum said “Pick me up on your way.”

More relieved than he knew how to be, Jinyoung nodded. “Will do, it’ll probably be about an hour.”

Hesitating, Jaebum asked “And we’re not going to tell them, right? About..”

He didn't finish his sentence but Jinyoung understood what he meant. THIS was horrible. THIS was disgusting and humiliating and those two never needed to know and WOULD never know about it. He knew it was stupid. Of course they should have called the cops. Of course they should have gone to the hospital, but the thought of sitting in the emergency room and being poked and prodded. The thought of talking to a room of cops staring at him with that look of pity made him want to punch someone.

Jinyoung shook his head, he didn’t know what Jaebum would call last night and he didn’t want to. “Absolutely never.”

....

This was such an awful idea. Seriously, on a scale of one to ten, one being lighting yourself on fire, ten being taking a joyride in James Dean’s Snyder, this is like…a six.

And yet, here they sat. Taking their second consecutive car ride in silence like they were on the way to a wake or a divorce hearing. Jinyoung scrolled through music on his phone, finding a song he always used to bother Jaebum and cranking up the volume, waiting for him to turn it off or yell at him. He’d have settled for an annoyed sigh at this point.

No dice. Jaebum just stared out the window, arms crossed over his chest.

This is fun.

He wanted to push him, to get a rise out of him, make him interact. He wanted to pull the car over and demand Jaebum talk to him. Fortunately, he’d had enough sense beaten into him over the years by Mark and Jackson to know that was a bad idea.

What would a normal person do in this situation? He’d never really know the answer to that hypothetical because normal people didn't end up in situations like this, did they?

Is there a handbook on etiquette for ritually fucking up people’s lives? Did Sherlock Holmes write a guidebook about being a fucking horrible friend?

How do people do this? Just… have friends and not be a fucking inconvenience. It’s like a fucking superpower.

What’s it like not to be the worst person someone knows?

To be be boring.

To be normal.

To not be fucking defective.

He should know how to do this. He should know how to comfort his friend. As a human, shouldn’t he have some kind of instinct for these things?

Even if he told Mark and Jackson what happened, they’d see it as something else. They’d see Jinyoung, in love with Jaebum, and try to solve it from there. But it’s not like that.

Sure, Jinyoung was in love with him. He had been since the day they met, but that wasn’t the point.

It had taken years of push and pull, give and take, fighting and bullshit, but Jaebum was his best friend and, whether he likes it or not, Jaebum felt the same way. This. -This- wasn’t about love or romance or pining, or heart shaped candy. This is about someone hurting his best friend, and that shit does not fly.

Sure, it could be argued that Jinyoung was the one that hurt him but if that’s how you see it, fuck you.

“Can I say something?” Jinyoung asked.

“No.”

So he didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry that it took so long to update but I couldn't think of what to write next. If you read any of my other stories you can probably tell that I haven't updated any of them recently. I'm kinda stuck in a rut right now and school isn't really the greatest either. I'm just going to apologize now since I'm not sure when I'll be updating again.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The four spent the day watching movies and drinking. For a second, things felt almost normal, that was until Jackson decided to open his mouth.
> 
> “So… you guys finally fuck?”  
> Jaebum paled, nearly choking on the drink he’d just taken and stood quickly. He knows it was a joke, Jackson frequently joked about them being together, but he couldn't help how his heart rate increased or how his mouth became dry and his eyes filled with water. Just the memory of that night or the thought of anyone ever finding out about that night scared him more than he wanted to admit. He ducked his head and ran out of the room.  
> A moment of silence passed before Jinyoung got up and ran after him.

“I’m here.” It sounded like a promise—since when did Jinyoung make promises?

They were crouched on the pavement together. Had been like that for the past ten minutes, yet it felt so much longer. Ten minutes of Jaebum crying with his face hidden from the man before him. He couldn’t let him see this.

He didn’t remember running out of the house. He’d only heard the clack of plates before feeling the doors pushed open against his palms. It was instinctual—a fight or flight response—and his feet were thumping against the ground before he realized he’d even gotten up. Panicked response from memories he’d tried so desperately to forget that resurfaced all at once. His feet carried him through busy streets and past lit-up convenience stores, only his labored breathing and rubber soles against the asphalt were heard as he kept running.

It hurt and he wanted to stop to breathe, but he needed to escape. Jinyoung had caught up quickly and grabbed his elbow tightly. Fingers pressing into his arm like he was afraid that he’d disappear if he let go. Everything felt like it was moving faster than he was, leaving him behind as he crouched down with nausea, bile rising and spilling onto the ground. Swift body moved to situate itself it front of him, holding him steady as he choked out sobs. His eyes burned with salty tears that wouldn’t stop, no matter how much he rubbed at his face with his hands, raw and red. There was a sharp pain in his chest and he couldn’t breathe at this point.

Jinyoung was silent the entire time and Jaebum would’ve forgotten that he was there if it wasn’t for the warm hand resting against the back of his neck. It might have been meant to provide comfort, but it wasn’t working. A useless distraction from the clench he felt in his chest. The slight brush of fingers through the shorn hairs raising goosebumps across his skin. He expected Jinyoung to say something at this point. Anything. He was silent.

It took a while, desperate sobs quieting to muffled cries that he tried to bite back. Was it always this bad? Had he always been this weak? There was a faint rustling of fabric and shift of long fingers that drew him out of his thoughts. Dark hair and powerful presence luring him in like a lighthouse guiding vessels to shore. What did he want? A question—demand—that prodded at his mind like the dull throb behind his eyes. Pressing on, unwanted. Seeing him like this, hunched over and sobbing over a puddle of vomit, did it make him feel good? Did he feel superior? There wasn’t any other reason why he would stay. He was weak and it made Jinyoung feel strong.

“Why are you doing this,” it came out hoarse, like his throat was made of sandpaper. He wanted to take it back, but it was too late. Did he want to hear it? He knew what he’d say, but hearing it aloud would make it real the way it hadn’t been before. It would be a confirmation that he’d never wanted.

Jinyoung finally spoke for the first time in over ten minutes. “Because I care about you.”

Silence.

A shared moment where eyes met, glinting from street lamps in the evening sky. Disbelief. They were staring at each other now without the tense atmosphere that lingered prior. He was shaking. It wasn’t cold that night and the air was warm against his damp skin. He wondered if Jinyoung could feel it with the hand wound around the back of his neck. Slight tremors coursing through him so faintly that it would’ve gone unnoticed by others. Was there anything about him that Jinyoung didn’t pick up on? It made him feel vulnerable. Under his cold, calculating stare like he was being dissected.

Because I care about you? He scoffed at that, fracturing the quietness. Why would he—someone who had everything, could have anyone—care about him? They were incompatible, opposing forces that clashed without end. Jaebum chose to use violence to solve problems, like his fists were louder than words. He was willing to be bruised and scarred to prove a point. Yet Jinyoung used sharp words and deceiving charm in his favor, winning the trust of others for his benefit. He was brutal, yet he could be so selfless when he wanted. Was that what it meant to care about someone? He wouldn’t know. Did he even mean that much to Jinyoung? Did he mean that much to anyone?

“Well, you have a weird fucking way of showing it,” came the hushed reply. It didn’t sum up what he’d been thinking nor what he’d wanted to say at all. It was a half-hearted attempt at marred humor to avoid the discussion they would have to have. Jinyoung played along with a dry laugh, cut off midway.

“Yeah. I know.” It sounded unamused, like he knew what he was like. He knew how he was around others versus Jaebum, self-aware of the way he acted out of impulse rather than careful planning.

 

They sat there for ten more minutes, across from each other in the vacant park. Tears dried down and breathing steadied. Suddenly, Jaebum spoke, fueled by a wave of valor.

“Um...thank you.” Jinyoung cocked his head to the side. He really felt like taking this back. “For being here, I guess.” It sounded aggressive the way he spat it out, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. One look at Jinyoung and he huffed.

“Shut up.”

“Didn’t say anything,” hands coming up in mock surrender as a wide smile plastered across his face. It was a rare opportunity—Jaebum letting Jinyoung in and allowing for him to see this hidden side of him that he’d always covered up with swears and insults. Even rarer was the man thanking him. The smile only grew wider as his cheeks flushed hotter.

Jaebum stood up abruptly and turned on his heels, walking at a brisk pace, yet slow enough for the Jinyoung to catch up. He did exactly that, easily catching up to him and throwing an arm around his shoulders like it was the most natural thing and letting a playfulsmirk toy at the corners of his lips. Jaebum's eyes flitted away from his face, blushing with embarrassment.

Idiot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As you've probably already noticed, both Jaebum's and Jinyoung's personalities are different in this story than compared to real life. Jaebum is way more insecure and tends to be more emotional than he probably would be in real life. While Jinyoung is more self destructive and aggressive compared to his actual personality. It's probably weird reading this and then comparing them to their counterparts.  
> Anyway, sorry it took so long to upload but I hope you liked this chapter! Please leave a comment!  
> Oh and another thing, I was thinking abut ending the story here. I'm really not sure what else to write after this chapter but if you have any ideas let me know.


End file.
